es that erfully co n. The v ported with the thought of such an amour, that I town should be annually chosen out of the two plied her from one room to another with all the clubs; by which means the principal magistrates gallantries I could invent; and at length brought are at this day coupled like rabbits, one fat and one things to so happy an issue, that she gave me a lean. private meeting the next day, without page or foot- Every one has heard of the club, or rather the man, coach or equipage. My heart danced in confederacy of the Kings. This grand alliance raptures; but I had not lived in this golden dream was formed a little after the return of King above three days, before I found good reason to Charles the Second, and admitted into it men of wish that I had continued true to my laundress. I all qualities and professions, provided they agreed have since heard, by a very great accident, that this in the surname of King, which, as they imagined, fine lady does not live far from Covent Garden, sufficiently declared the owners of it to be altoand that I am not the first cully whom she has gether untainted with republican and anti-monar passed herself upon for a countess. Thus, sir, you see how I have mistaken a cloud chical principles A christian name has likewise been often used as for a Juno; and if you can make any use of this a badge of distinction, and made the occasion of a adventure, for the benefit of those who may pos-club. That of the Georges, which used to meet at sibly be as vain young coxcombs as myself, I do the sign of the George, on St. George's day, and most heartily give you leave. 'I am, SIR, Your most humble admirer, 'B. L.' swear Before George,' is still fresh in every one's memory. There are at present in several parts of this city what they call Street-clubs, in which the chief inhabitants of the street converse together every introduzat I design to visit the next masquerade myself, in night. I remember, upon my inquiring after lodgupon ther the same habit I wore at Grand Cairo; and tillings in Ormond-street, the landlord, to recomDody the then shall suspend my judgment of this midnight mend that quarter of the town, told me there was eral room entertainment. ey please ADDISON. squeess eedo at this signat effecta nitions C. No 9. SATURDAY, MARCH 10, 1710-11. -Tigris agit rabida cum tigride pacem both sess JUV. Sat. xv. 163. at that time a very good club in it; he also told me, upon further discourse with him, that two or three noisy country squires, who were settled there the year before, had considerably sunk the price of house-rent; and that the club (to prevent the like inconveniences for the future) had thoughts of taking every house that became vacant into their own hands, till they had found a tenant for it, of a sociable nature and good conversation. The Hum Drum club, of which I was formerly an unworthy member, was made up of very honest gentlemen of peaceable dispositions, that used to Max is said to be a sociable animal, and as an in-sit together, smoke their pipes, and say nothing stance of it, we may observe, that we take all oc- till midnight. The Mum club (as I am informed) casions and pretences of forming ourselves into is an institution of the same nature, and as great these little nocturnal assemblies, which are com- an enemy to noise. monly known by the name of clubs. When a set After these two innocent societies, I cannot forof men find themselves agree in any particular, bear mentioning a very mischievous one, that was though never so trivial, they establish themselves erected in the reign of King Charles the Second, into a kind of fraternity, and meet once or twice I mean the club of Duellists, in which none was vice a week, upon the account of such a fantastic re- to be admitted that had not fought his man. nike The semblance. I know a considerable market-town, president of it was said to have killed half a dozen ze in which there was a club of fat men, that did not in single combat; and as for the other members, me Lase come together (as you may well suppose) to enter they took their seats according to the number of nasque tuin one another with sprightliness and wit, but to their slain. There was likewise a side table, for -ked of keep one another in countenance. The room where such as had only drawn blood, and shown a lauwing the club met was something of the largest, and had dable ambition of taking the first opportunity to next two entrances, the one by a door of a moderate qualify themselves for the first table. This club, 1000aze, and the other by a pair of folding-doors. If consisting only of men of honour, did not continue 1 candidate for this corpulent club could make his long, most of the members of it being put to the arcie entrance through the first, he was looked upon as sword, or hanged, a little after its institution. sinqualified; but if he stuck in the passage, and Our modern celebrated clubs are founded upon mine could not force his way through it, the folding-eating and drinking, which are points wherein doors were immediately thrown open for his re- most men agree, and in which the learned and ililed ception, and he was saluted as a brother. I have literate, the dull and the airy, the philosopher and ou heard that this club, though it consisted but of the buffoon, can all of them bear a part. The fifteen persons, weighed above three ton. Kit-Cat itself is said to have taken its original In opposition to this society, there sprung up another composed of scarecrows and skeletons, who, being very meagre and envious, did all they could statesmen among the Whigs, met in Shire lane, and was to thwart the designs of their bulky brethren, named from a pastry-cook Christopher constantly formed whom they represented as men of dangerous prin- part of them refreshment. The portraits of its members, ciples; till at length they worked them out of the done by Sir Godfrey Kneller, were at Barnes, favour of the people, and consequently out of the possession of the late Mr Jacob Tronson's, they have since magistracy. These factions tore the corporation becotary by inheritance, the property of Wiham Baker, in pieces for several years, till at length they came Esq. In order to adapt them to the height of the club to this accommodation; that the two bailiffs of the room, the pictures were painted ofting only the 1 from a mutton-pie. The Beef Steak, and Octobert clubs, are neither of them averse to eating and drinking, if we may form a judgment of them from their respective titles. When men are thus knit together, by a love of society, not a spirit of faction, and do not meet to censure or annoy those that are absent, but to enjoy one another; when they are thus combined for their own improvement, or for the good of others, or at least to relax themselves from the business of the day, by an innocent and cheerful conversation, there may be something very useful in these little institutions and establishments. I cannot forbear concluding this paper with a It is with much satisfaction that I hear this great scheme of laws that I met with upon a wall in a city inquiring day by day after these my papers, little alehouse. How I came thither I may in-and receiving my morning lectures with a becomform my reader at a more convenient time. These ing seriousness and attention. My publisher telis laws were enacted by a knot of artisans and me- me, that there are already three thousand of them chanics, who used to meet every night; and as distributed every day: so that if I allow twenty there is something in them which gives us a pretty readers to every paper, which I look upon as a picture of low life, I shall transcribe them word for word: modest computation, I may reckon about threescore thousand disciples in London and Westminster, who I hope will take care to distinguish themselves from the thoughtless herd of their ignoraut and inattentive brethren. Since I have raised to myselt so great an audience, I shall spare no pains to make their instruction agreeable, and their diversion useful. For which reasons I shall endeavour to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality, that my readers may, if possible, III. If any member absents himself, he shall both ways find their account in the speculation of forfeit a penny for the use of the club, unless in the day. And to the end that their virtue and Rules to be observed in the Two-penny club, erected in this place for the preservation of friendship and good neighbourhood. I. Every member at his first coming in shall lay down his two-pence. II. Every member shall fill his pipe out of his own box. case of sickness or imprisonment. IV. If any member swears or curses, his neighbour may give him a kick upon the shins. V. If any member tells stories in the club that are not true, he shall forfeit for every third lie an halfpenny. VI. If any member strikes another wrongfully, he shall pay his club for him. VII. If any member brings his wife into the club, he shall pay for whatever she drinks or smokes. VIII. If any member's wife comes to fetch him home from the club, she shall speak to him with out the door. IX. If any member calls another a cuckold, he shall be turned out of the club. X. None shall be admitted into the club that is of the same trade with any member of it. discretion may not be short, transient, intermitting starts of thought, I have resolved to refresh their memories from day to day, till I have recovered them out of that desperate state of vice and folly, into which the age is fallen. The mind that lies fallow but a single day, sprouts up in follies that are only to be killed by a constant and assiduous culture. It was said of Socrates, that he brought philosophy down from heaven, to inhabit among men; and I shall be ambitious to have it said of me, that I have brought philosophy out of closets and libraries, schools and colleges, to dwell in clubs and assemblies, at tea-tables, and in coffee houses. i would therefore in a very particular manner recommend these my speculations to all well-regulated families, that set apart an hour in every morning for tea and bread and butter; and would earnestly advise them for their good to order this paper to be punctually served up, and to be look XI. None of the club shall have his clothes or shoes made or mended, but by a brother member. XII. No non-juror shall be capable of being a led upon as a part of the tea equipage. member. such wholesome laws and penalties, that I as Sir Francis Bacon observes, that a well-written book, compared with its rivals and antagonists, is I shall health clubes guarded by like Moses's serpent, that immediately swallowed tion not but my reader will be well pleased up, and devoured those of the Egyptians. not be so vain as to think, that where the Specwith them, as he would have been with the Leges tator appears, the other public prints will vanish; Convivales of Ben Jonson, the regulations of an but shall leave it to my reader's consideration, old Roman club cited by Lipsius, or the rules of a whether it is not much better to be let into the Symposium in an ancient Greek author. ADDISON. C. See Dr. King's Works, vol. iii. p. 290. 8vo. edit. 1776. This elub also consisted of the chief wits and greatest men in the knowledge of one's self, than to hear what passes in Muscovy or Poland; and to amuse ourselves with such writings as tend to the wearing out of kingdom. It is said. that Mrs. Woffington, the only woman in ignorance, passion, and prejudice, than such as it, was presalent Richard Estcourt, the comedian, was their naturally conduce to inflame hatreds, and make providore; and, as an honourable badge of his office, wore a enmities irreconcilable. small gridiron of gold hung round his neck with a green silk riband. above a parliament men of the country, who drink In the next place I would recommend this paper + Swift, in a letter to Stella, (London, Feb. 10. 1710-11) says, to the daily perusal of those gentlemen whom I We are plagued here with an October club that is, a set of cannot but consider as my good brothers and allies, October beer at home, and meet every evening at a tavern near I mean the fraternity of Spectators, who live in the parliament to consult affairs, and drive things on to ex the world without having any thing to do in it; tremes against the Whigs, to call the old ministry to account, and and either by the affluence of their fortunes, or laget off or six heads." Sec Whalley's edit. vol. vii. ziness of their dispositions, have no other business 1-11. : drive. AYDEX is gre papers bear ef with the rest of mankind, but to look upon them. I myself to furnish every day: but to make them Under this class of men are comprehended all con- easy in this particular, I will promise them faithtemplative tradesmen, titular physicians, fellows fully to give it over as soon as I grow dull. This f of the Royal Society, Templars that are not given know will be matter of great raillery to the small to be contentious, and statesmen that are out of wits; who will frequently put me in mind of my business: in short, every one that considers the promise, desire me to keep my word, assure me that world as a theatre, and desires to form a right it is high time to give over, with many other little Judgment of those who are the actors on it. pleasantries of the like nature, which men of a There is another set of men that I must likewise little smart genius cannot forbear throwing out lay a claim to, whom I have lately called the against their friends, when they have such an blanks of society, as being altogether unfurnished handle given them of being witty. But let them with ideas, till the business and conversation of remember that I do hereby euter my caveat against the day has supplied them. I have often consi-this piece of raillery. dered these poor souls with an eye of great com miseration, when I have heard them asking the first of the ther materials for thinking. These needy persons tre do not know what to talk of, till about twelve o'clock in the morning; for by that time, they are pretty good judges of the weather, know which way the wind sits, and whether the Dutch mail be thecome in. As they lie at the mercy of the first man ARIETTA is visited by all persons of both sexes, gher they meet, and are grave or impertinent all the who have any pretence to wit and gallantry. She day long, according to the notions which they have is in that time of life which is neither affected being in the least blameable; as she is out of the have so much time on their hands, will not grudge 'Sir, when I consider how perfectly new all throwing away a quarter of an hour in a day on you have said on this subject is, and that the story this paper, since they may do it without any hin- you have given us is not quite two thousand years drance to business. old, I cannot but think it a piece of presumption I know several of my friends and well-wishers to dispute it with you: but your quotations put are in great pain for me, lest I should not be able me in mind of the fable of the lion and the man. to keep up the spirit of a paper which I oblige The man, walking with that noble animal, showed : . of him, in the ostentation of human superiority, a sign In the midst of these good offices, she would some a man killing a lion. Upon which, the lion times play with his hair, and delight in the oppo said very justly, "We lions are none of us paint-sition of its colour to that of her fingers: then ope ers, else we could show a hundred men killed by his bosom, then laugh at him for covering it. Sh lions, for one lion killed by a man." You men was, it seems, a person of distinction, for she ever are writers, and can represent us women as unbe- day came to him in a different dress, of the mos coming as you please in your works, while we are beautiful shells, bugles, and bredes. She likewis unable to return the injury. You have twice or brought him a great many spoils which her othe thrice observed in your discourse, that hypocrisy lovers had presented to her, so that his cave wa is the very foundation of our education; and that richly adorned with all the spotted skins of beasts an ability to dissemble our affections is a professed and most party-coloured feathers of fowls, which part of our breeding. These, and such other re- that world afforded. To make his confinement flections, are sprinkled up and down the writings more tolerable, she would carry him in the dusk of all ages, by authors, who leave behind them of the evening, or by the favour of moon-light, to memorials of their resentment against the scorn of unfrequented groves and solitudes, and show him particular women, in invectives against the whole where to lie down in safety, and sleep amidst the sex. Such a writer, I doubt not, was the cele- falls of waters and melody of nightingales. Her brated Petronius, who invented the pleasant ag-part was to watch and hold him awake in her gravations of the frailty of the Ephesian lady; arms, for fear of her countrymen, and wake him but when we consider this question between the on occasions to consult his safety. In this manner sexes, which has been either a point of dispute or did the lovers pass away their time, till they had raillery, ever since there were men and women, learned a language of their own, in which the let us take facts from plain people, and from such voyager communicated to his mistress, how happy as have not either ambition, or capacity to em- he should be to have her in his country, where she bellish their narrations with any beauties of ima- should be clothed in such silks as his waistcoat was gination. I was the other day amusing myself with made of, and be carried in houses drawn by horses, Ligon's Account of Barbadoes; and, in answer without being exposed to wind or weather. All to your well-wrought tale, I will give you (as this he promised her the enjoyment of, without it dwells upon my memory) out of that honest such fears and alarms as they were there tormented traveller, in his fifty-fifth page, the history of Inkle with. In this tender correspondence these lovers and Yarico. lived for several months, when Yarico, instructed "Mr. Thomas Inkle, of London, aged twenty by her lover, discovered a vessel on the coast, to years, embarked in the Downs, in the good ship which she made signals; and in the night, with called the Achilles, bound for the West Indies, on the utmost joy and satisfaction, accompanied him the 16th of June, 1647, in order to improve his to a ship's crew of his countrymen, bound for Barfortune by trade and merchandise. Our adven- badoes. When a vessel from the main arrives in turer was the third son of an eminent citizen, who that island, it seems, the planters come down to the had taken particular care to instil into his mind shore, where there is an immediate market of the an early love of gain, by making him a perfect Indians and other slaves, as with us of horses and master of numbers, and consequently giving him a oxen. quick view of loss and advantage, and preventing "To be short, Mr. Thomas Inkle, now coming the natural impulses of his passion, by preposses- into English territories, began seriously to reflect sion towards his interests. With a mind thus turn- upon his loss of time, and to weigh with himself ed, young Inkle had a person every way agree-how many days interest of his money he had lost able, a ruddy vigour in his countenance, strength during his stay with Yarico. This tho thought made in his limbs, with ringlets of fair hair loosely flow-the young man pensive, and careful what account ing on his shoulders. It happened, in the course he should be able to give his friends of his voyage. of the voyage, that the Achilles, in some distress, Upon which consideration, the prudent and frugal put into a creek on the main of America, in search young man sold Yarico to a Barbadian merchant; of provisions. The youth who is the hero of my notwithstanding that the poor girl, to incline him story, among others, went on shore on this occasion. to commiserate her condition, told him that she From their first landing they were observed by a was with child by him; but he only made use of party of Indians, who hid themselves in the woods that information, to rise in his demands upon the for that purpose. The English unadvisedly marched purchaser." a great distance from the shore into the country, I was so touched with this story (which I think and were intercepted by the natives, who slew the should be always a counterpart to the Ephesian greatest number of them. Our adventurer escaped, Matron) that I left the room with tears in my eyes, among others, by flying into a forest. Upon his which a woman of Arietta's good sense did, I am coming into a remote and pathless part of the sure, take for greater applause, than any compli wood, he threw himself, tired and breathless, on a ments I could make her. little hillock, when an Indian maid rushed from a STEELE. R. N° 12. WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 1710-11. -Veteres avias tibi de pulmone revello. PERS. Sat. v. 92. thicket behind him. After the first surprise, they appeared mutually agreeable to each other. If the European was highly charmed with the limbs, features, and wild graces of the naked American; the American was no less taken with the dress, complexion, and shape of an European, covered I root th' old woman from thy trembling heart. from head to foot. The Indian grew immediately Ar my coming to London, it was some time before enamoured of him, and consequently solicitous for I could settle myself in a house to my liking. I his preservation. She therefore conveyed him to was forced to quit my first lodgings by reason of a cave, where she gave him a delicious repast of an officious landlady, that would be asking me fruits, and led him to a stream to slake his thirst. every morning how I had slept. I then fell into • A true and exact history of Barbadoes, &c. by Richard an honest family, and lived very happily for above a week; when my landlord, who was a jolly good Ligon, gent. fol. 1673. Ever natured man, took it into his head that I wanted am mistaken if he ventures to go to bed by himcompany, and therefore would frequently come self this twelvemonth. Indeed they talked so Gpea into my chamber, to keep me from being alone. tong, that the imaginations of the whole assembly This I bore for two or three days; but telling me were manifestly crazed, and, I am sure, will be one day that he was afraid I was melancholy, I the worse for it as long as they live. I heard one thought it was high time for me to be gone, and of the girls, that had looked upon me over her accordingly took new lodgings that very night. shoulder, asking the company how long I had been About a week after, I found my jolly landlord, in the room, and whether I did not look paler wa who, as I said before, was an honest hearty man, than I used to do. This put me under some apeasts had put me into an advertisement of the Daily prehensions that I should be forced to explain myCourant, in the following words: Whereas a me- self, if I did not retire: for which reason I took lancholy man left his lodgings on Thursday last in the candle in my hand, and went up into my d.sk the afternoon, and was afterwards seen going to-chamber, not without wondering at this unaccountwards Islington: if any one can give notice of able weakness in reasonable creatures, that they him to R. B. fishmonger in the Strand, he shall be should love to astonish and terrify ong: another. well rewarded for his pains.' As I am the best Were I a father, I should take a particular care man in the world to keep my own counsel, and my to preserve my children from these little horrors landlord the fishmonger not knowing my name, and imaginations, which they are apt to contract this accident of my life was never discovered to when they are young, and are not able to shake this very day. He te F off when they are in years. I have known a solI am now settled with a widow woman, who dier that has entered a breach affrighted at his has a great many children, and complies with my own shadow, and look pale up on a little scratchhamour in every thing. I do not remember that ing at his door, who the day 'before had marched we have exchanged a word together these five up against a battery of car non. There are inyears; my coffee comes into my chamber every stances of persons who have been terrified, even morning without asking for it; if I want fire I to distraction, at the figure of a tree, or the shaking point to my chimney, if water to my basin; upon of a bulrush. The truths of it is, I look upon a which my landlady nods, as much as to say she sound imagination as the greatest blessing of life, takes my meaning, and immediately obeys my sig- next to a clear judgment and a good conscience. nals. She has likewise modelled her family so In the mean time, since there are very few whose well, that when her little boy offers to pull me by minds are not more or less subject to these dreadthe coat, or prattle in my face, his eldest sister im- ful thoughts and apprehensions, we ought to arm mediately calls him off, and bids him not disturb ourselves against them by the dictates of reason the gentleman. At my first entering into the fa- and religion, 'to pull the old woman out of our mily, I was troubled with the civility of their rising hearts, (as Persius expressess it in the motto of my up to me every time I came into the room; but paper,) and extinguish those impertinent notions my landlady observing, that upon these occasions which we imbibed at a time that we were not lalways cried Pish, and went out again, has for- able to judge of their absurdity Or if we believe, bidden any such ceremony to be used in the house; as many wise and good men have done, that there so that at present I walk into the kitchen or par- are such phantoms and apparitions as those I have lour, without being taken notice of, or giving any been speaking of, let us endeavou i to establish to interruption to the business or discourse of the family. The maid will ask her mistress (though I amby) whether the gentleman is ready to go to dinner, as the mistress (who is indeed an excellent housewife) scolds at the servants as heartily before his knowledge and permission. my face as behind my back. In short, I move up For my own part, I am apt to join a in opinion and down the house, and enter into all companies with those who believe that all the regitions of nawith the same liberty as a cat, or any other do- ture swarm with spirits: and that we have mulmestic animal, and am as little suspected of telling titudes of spectators on all our actions, vovhen we any thing that I hear or see. think ourselves most alone: but instead of terrify ourselves an interest in Him who holds the reins of the whole creation in his hands, and moderates them after such a manner, that it is i empossible for one being to break loose upon anotaher, er, without it I remember last winterthere were several young ing myself with such a notion, I am wor aderfully parts of the neighbourhood sitting about the fire pleased to think that I am always engar bed with with my landlady's daughters, and telling stories of such an innumerable society, in searching out the spirits and apparitions. Upon my opening the wonders of the creation, and joining in the same door the young women broke off their discourse, consort of praise and adoration. but my landlady's daughters telling them that it Milton has finely described this mixed comWas nobody but the gentleman (for that is the munion of men and spirits in Paradise; and had name that I go by in the neighbourhood as well as doubtless his eye upon a verse in old Hesiod, which in the family) they went on without minding me is almost word for word the same with his third I seated myself by the candle that stood on a table at one end of the room: and pretending to read a book that I took out of my pocket, heard several dreadful stories of ghosts, as pale as ashes, that had stood at the feet of a bed, or walked over a church-yard by moon-light: and of others that had been conjured into the Red-sea, for disturbing people's rest, and drawing their curtains at midnight, with many other old women's fables of the like nature. As one spirit raised another, I observed that at the end of every story the whole company closed their ranks, and crowded about the fire. I took notice in particular of a little voy, who was so attentive to every story, that I line in the following passage : -Nor think, though men were none, That heav'n would want spectators, God want praise: Unseen both when we wake and when we sleep; ADDISON. * In his Paradise Lost C 1 |