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him for natural defects, it is extremely agreeable cast of countenance; of which the president and when he can jest upon himself for them*.

officers for the time being are to determine, and

core

hirt

Madam Maintenon's first husband was an hero,
in this kind, and has drawn many pleasantries
from the irregularity of his shape, which he de-
scribes as very much resembling the letter 2. He themselves as founder's kinsmen; or to the ob-

the president to have the casting voice.

'II. That a singular regard be had upon exami

nation, to the gibbosity of the gentlemen that offer

reader the make of an engine and pully, with

'III. That if the quantity of any man's nose be

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diverts himself likewise by representing to his liquity of their figure, in what sort soever.

which he used to take off his hat. When there eminently miscalculated, whether as to length or happens to be any thing ridiculous in a visage, and breadth, he shall have a just pretence to be the owner of it thinks it an aspect of dignity, he elected.

must be of very great quality to be exempt from Lastly, That if there shall be two or more raillery. The best expedient therefore is to be competitors for the same vacancy, ceteris paribus pleasant upon himself. Prince Harry and Falstaff, he that has the thickest skin to have the pre in Shakspeare, have carried the ridicule upon fat ference.

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Every fresh member, upon his first night, is to ously called woolsack, bedpresser, and hill of flesh; entertain the company with a dish of cod fish, and Harry, a starveling, an elves-skin, a sheeth, a bow- a speech in praise of Esop; whose portraiture case, and a tuck. There is, in several incidents of they have, in full proportion, over the chimney; the conversation between them, the jest still kept and their design is, as soon as their funds are suffiup upon the person. Great tenderness and sensi-cient, to purchase the heads of Thersites, Duns bility in this point is one of the greatest weaknesses Scotus, Scarron, Hudibras, and the old gentleman of self-love. For my own part, I am a little unhappy in Oldham, with all the celebrated ill faces of in the mould of my face, which is not quite so long antiquity, as furniture for the club-room. as it is broad. Whether this might not partly arise As they have always been professed admirers from my opening my mouth much seldomer than of the other sex, so they unanimously declare that other people, and by consequence not so much they will give all possible encouragement to such lengthening the fibres of my visage, I am not at as will take the benefit of the statute, though none leisure to determine. However it be, I have been yet have appeared to do it. often put out of countenance by the shortness of The worthy president, who is their most demy face, and was formerly at great pains in con-voted champion, has lately shown me two copies cealing it by wearing a periwig with an high fore- of verses composed by a gentleman of his society; top, and letting my beard grow. But now I have the first, a congratulatory ode, inscribed to Mrs. thoroughly got over this delicacy, and could be Touchwood, upon the loss of her two four-teeth; contented with a much shorter, provided it might the other, a panegyric upon Mrs. Andiron's left qualify me for a member of the Merry club, which shoulder. Mrs. Vizard (he says) since the smallthe following letter gives me an account of. I have pox, is grown tolerably ugly, and a top toast in received it from Oxford, and as it abounds with the club; but I never heard him so lavish of his

the spirit of mirth and good humour, which is natural to that place, I shall set it down word for word as it came to me.

MOST PROFOUND SIR,

fine things, as upon old Nell Trot, who constantly officiates at their table; her he even adores and extols as the very counterpart of Mother Shipton; in short, Nell (says he) is one of the extraordinary 'HAVING been very well entertained, in the last of works of nature; but as for complexion, shape, your speculations that I have yet seen, by your mere outside and symmetry, which is his aversion. and features, so valued by others, they are all specimen upon clubs, which I therefore hope you Give me leave to add, that the president is a facewill continue, I shall take the liberty to furnish you tious pleasant gentleman, and never more so, than with a brief account of such a one as, perhaps, you when he had got (as he calls them) his dear mumhave not seen in all your travels, unless it was your mers about him; and he often protests it does him fortune to touch upon some of the woody parts of

several of these inferior hebdomadal societies, as

the African continent, in your voyage to or from good to meet a fellow with a right genuine grimace Grand Cairo. There have arose in this university of the French nation); and as an instance of his his air (which is so agreeable generality (long since you left us without saying any thing) sincerity in this particular, he gave me a sight of the Punning club, the Witty club, and amongst these five years have fallen under his observation, a list in his pocket-book of all this class, who for the rest, the Handsome club; as a burlesque upon with himself at the head of them, and in the rear (as one of a promising and improving aspect.)

which, a certain merry species, that seem to have come into the world in masquerade, for some years last past have associated themselves together, and assumed the name of the Ugly club. This ill-favoured fraternity consists of a president and twelve fellows; the choice of which is not confined by patent to any particular foundation, (as St. John's men would have the world believe, and have therefore erected a separate society within themselves) but liberty is left to elect from any school in Great Britain, provided the candidates be within the rules of the club, ab, as set forth in a table, entitled, The Act of Deformity; a clause or two of which I shall transmit to you.

L. That no person whatsoever shall be admitted without a visible queerity in his aspect, or peculiar

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in his Fasay on Deformity, published in Dodsley's 'Fugitive This has since been well done by William Hay, Esq. M. P. Ir is my design in this paper to deliver down to posterity a faithful account of the Italian oper

Pieces, sro, vol, i. p. 89.

and of the gradual progress which it has made tongue. The king or hero of the play generally upon the English stage; for there is no question spoke in Italian, and his slaves answered him in but our great grand-children will be very curious English. The lover frequently made his court, and to know the reason why their forefathers used to gained the heart of his princess, in a language sit together like an audience of foreigners in their which she did not understand. One would have own country, and to hear whole plays acted be- thought it very difficult to have carried on dialogues

fore them, in a tongue which they did not understand.

Arsinoe was the first opera that gave us a taste of Italian music. The great success this opera met with produced some attempts of forming pieces upon Italian plans, which should give a more na tural and reasonable entertainment than what can be met with in the elaborate trifles of that nation. This alarmed the poetasters and fiddlers of the

after this manner without an interpreter between the persons that conversed together; but this was the state of the English stage for about three years.

At length the audience grew tired of understand. ing half the opera; and therefore, to ease themselves entirely of the fatigue of thinking, have so ordered it at present, that the whole opera is performed in an unknown tongue. We no longer

town, who were used to deal in a more ordinary understand the language of our own stage; inso

kind of ware; and therefore laid down an established rule, which is received as such to this day, That nothing is capable of being well set to music, that is not nonsense."

This maxim was no sooner received, but we immediately fell to translating the Italian operas; and as there was no great danger of hurting the sense of those extraordinary pieces, our authors

much that I have often been afraid, when I have seen our Italian performers chattering in the vehemence of an action, that they have been calling us names, and abusing us among themselves; but I hope, since we do put such an entire confidence in them, they will not talk against us before our faces, though they may do it with the same safety as if it were behind our backs. In the mean time, I can

would often make words of their own, which were not forbear thinking how naturally an historian, entirely foreign to the meaning of the passages who writes two or three hundred years hence, and they pretended to translate; their chief care being does not know the taste of his wise forefathers, to make the numbers of the English verse answer will make the following reflections: 'In the beto those of the Italian, that both of them might ginning of the eighteenth century, the Italian go to the same tune. Thus the famous song in tongue was so well ur lerstood in England, that Camilla:

* Barbara si t'intendo, &c.

Barbarous woman, yes, I know your meaning;'

which expresses the resentments of an angry lover, was translated into that English lamentation:

'Frail are a lover's hopes,' &e.

operas were acted on the public stage in that language.'

One scarce knows how to be serious in the confutation of an absurdity that shows itself at the first sight. It does not want any great measure of sense to see the ridicule of this monstrous practice;

but what makes it the more astonishing, it is not the taste of the rabble, but of persons of the greatest politeness, which has established it.

If the Italians have a genius for music above And it was pleasant enough to see the most refined the English, the English have a genius for other persons of the British nation dying away and lan- performances of a much higher nature, and capaguishing to notes that were filled with a spirit of ble of giving the mind a much nobler entertainrage and indignation. It happened also very fre- ment. Would one think it was possible (at a time quently, where the sense was rightly translated, when an author lived that was able to write the the necessary transposition of words, which were Phædra and Hippolitus) for a people to be so studrawn out of the phrase of one tongue into that of pidly fond of the Italian opera, as scarce to give a another, made the music appear very absurd in one third day's hearing to that admirable tragedy? tongue that was very natural in the other. I re- Music is certainly a very agreeable entertainment: member an Italian verse that ran thus, word for but if it would take the entire possession of our

word:

4

And turn'd my rage into pity;

which the English for rhyme sake translated, And into pity turn'd my rage.'

By this means the soft notes that were adapted to pity in the Italian, fell upon the word rage in the English; and the angry sounds that were turned to

ears, if it would make us incapable of hearing sense, if it would exclude arts that have a much greater tendency to the refinement of human nature; I must confess I would allow it no better quarter than Plato has done, who banishes it out of his commonwealth.

At present our notions of music are so very un-/ certain, that we do not know what it is we like; only, in general we are transported with any thing that is not English so it be of a foreign

Inge in the original, were made to express pity in growth, let it be Italian, French, or High Dutch, the translation. It oftentimes happened likewise, it is the same thing. In short, our English music that the finest notes in the air fell upon the most is quite rooted out, and nothing yet planted in its insignificant words in the sentence. I have known stead.

the word 'and' pursued through the whole gamut, When a royal palace is burnt to the ground, have been entertained with many a melodious every man is at liberty to present his plan for a the,' and have heard the most beautiful graces, new one; and though it be but indifferently put quavers, and divisions bestowed upon 'then, for, together, it may furnish several hints that may be and from; to the eternal honour of our English of use to a good architect. I shall take the same

particles.

The next step to our refinement, was the introducing of Italian actors into our opera; who sung their parts in their own language, at the same time That our countrymen performed theirs in our native

liberty, in a following paper, of giving my opinion upon the subject of music; which I shall lay down only in a problematical manner, as to be considered by those who are masters in the art. ADDISON,

C.

V

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NNo 19. THURSDAY, MARCH 22, 1710-11.

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Di bene fecerunt, inopis me quodque pusilli
Finxerunt animi, raro et perpauca loquentis.

HOR. 1 Sat. iv. 17.

Thank heav'n that made me of a humble mind;
To action little, less to words inclin'd!

OBSERVING one person behold another, who was
an utter stranger to him, with a cast of his eye,
which, methought, expressed an emotion of heart
very different from what could be raised by an ob-
ject so agreeable as the gentleman he looked at, I

cuted, upon better information appears so altered in its circumstances, that the fame of it is divided among many, instead of being attributed to one. This is a secret satisfaction to these malignants; for the person whom they before could not but admire, they fancy is nearer their own condition as soon as his merit is shared among others. I remember some years ago there came out an excellent poem without the name of the author. The little wits, who were incapable of writing it, began to pull in pieces the supposed writer. When that would not do, they took great pains to suppress the opinion that it was his. That again failed. The next refuge was, to say it was overlooked by one man, and many pages wholly written by another. An honest fellow who sat among a cluster of them in

began to consider, not without some secret sorrow, debate on this subject, cried out, 'Gentlemen, if the condition of an envious man. Some have fan- you are sure none of you yourselves had a hand in cied that envy has a certain magical force in it, it, you are but where you were, whoever writ it.' and that the eyes of the envious have by their But the most usual succour to the envious, in cases fascination blasted the enjoyments of the happy. of nameless merit in this kind, is to keep the proSir Francis Bacon says, some have been so curious perty, if possible, unfixed, and by that means to as to remark the times and seasons when the stroke hinder the reputation of it from falling upon any of an envious eye is most effectually pernicious, particular person. You see an envious man clear and have observed that it has been when the per up his countenance, if in the relation of any man's son envied has been in any circumstance of glory great happiness in one point, you mention his unand triumph. At such a time the mind of the pros- easiness in another. When he hears such a one perous man goes, as it were, abroad, among things is very rich he turns pale, but recovers when you without him, and is more exposed to the malig. add that he has many children. In a word, the only mity. But I shall not dwell upon speculations so sure way to an envious man's favour, is not to deabstracted as this, or repeat the many excellent serve it. things which one might collect out of authors upon But if we consider the envious man in delight, it this miserable affection: but, keeping in the road is like reading of the seat of algiant in a romance ; of common life, consider the envious man with re. the magnificence of his house consists in the many lation to these three heads, his pains, his reliefs, limbs of men whom he has slain. If any who proand his happiness. mised themselves success in any uncommon underThe envious man is in pain upon all occasions taking miscarry in the attempt, or he that aimed which ought to give him pleasure. The relish of at what would have been useful and laudable, his life is inverted; and the objects which adminis. meets with contempt and derision, the envious ter the highest satisfaction to those who are exempt man, under the colour of hating vain-glory, can from this passion, give the quickest pangs to per smile, with an inward wantonness of heart, at the sons who are subject to it. All the perfections of ill effect it may have upon an honest ambition for

their fellow-creatures are odious. Youth, beauty, the future.

valour, and wisdom are provocations of their dis- Having thoroughly considered the nature of this pleasure. What a wretched and apostate state is passion, I have made it my study how to avoid the this! to be offended with excellence, and to hate envy that may accrue to me from these my specua man because we approve him! The condition of lations; and if I am not mistaken in myself, I the envious man is the most emphatically misera. think I have a genius to escape it. Upon hearing ble; he is not only incapable of rejoicing in ano. in a coffee-house one of my papers commended, I ther's merit of success, but lives in a world wherein immediately apprehended the envy that would all mankind are in a plot against his quiet, by spring from that applause; and therefore gave a studying their own happiness and advantage. Will description of my face the next day; being reProsper is an honest tale-bearer. He makes it solved, as I grew in reputation for wit, to resign his business to join in conversation with envious my pretensions to beauty. This, I hope, may give men. He points to such an handsome young fel. some ease to those unhappy gentlemen who do me low, and whispers that he is secretly married to a the honour to torment themselves upon the account great fortune. When they doubt, he adds cir. of this my paper. As their case is very deplorable, cumstances to prove it; and never fails to aggra- and deserves compassion, I shall sometimes be vate their distress, by assuring them, that, to his dull, in pity to them, and will from time to time knowledge, he has an uncle will leave him some administer consolations to them by further discothousands. Will has many arts of this kind to veries of my person. In the meanwhile, if any one torture this sort of temper, and delights in it. says the Spectator has wit, it may be some relief When he finds them change colour, and say faintly to them to think that he does not show it in com they wish such a piece of news is true, he has the pany. And if any one praises his morality, they malice to speak some good or other of every man may comfort themselves by considering that.

of their acquaintance.

The reliefs of the envious man are those little blemishes and imperfections that discover themselves in an illustrious character. It is a matter of great consolation to an envious person, when a man of known honour does a thing unworthy himself; or when any action which was well exe.

face is none of the longest.

* See No. 20.

STEELE,

"

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AMONG the other hardy undertakings which I have

20.

directions, according to the most exact rules of optics, to place himself in such a manner, that he shall meet his eyes wherever he throws them. I have hopes, that when Will confronts him, and all the ladies, in whose behalf he engages him, cast kind looks and wishes of success at their champion, he will have some shame, and feel a little of the pain he has so often put others to, of being out of

countenance.

It has indeed been, time out of mind, generally proposed to myself, that of the correction of im- remarked, and as often lamented, that this family pudence is what I have very much at heart. This of starers have infested public assemblies: and I in a particular manner is my province as Spec- know no other way to obviate so great an evil, tator; for it is generally an offence committed by except, in the case of fixing their eyes upon wothe eyes, and that against such as the offenders men, some male friend will take the part of such would perhaps never have an opportunity of in- as are under the oppression of impudence, and juring any other way. The following letter is a encounter the eyes of the starers wherever they complaint of a young lady, who sets forth a tres. meet them. While we suffer our women to be thus pass of this kind, with that command of herself as impudently attacked, they have no defence, but befits beauty and innocence, and yet with so much in the end to cast yielding glances at the starers. spirit as sufficiently expresses her indignation. In this case, a man who has no sense of shame, The whole transaction is performed with the eyes; has the same advantage over his mistress, as he and the crime is no less than employing them in who has no regard for his own life has over his such a manner, as to divert the eyes of others from adversary. While the generality of the world are the best use they can make of them, even looking up to Heaven:

'SIR,

THERE never was (I believe) an acceptable man but had some awkward imitators. Ever since the

fettered by rules, and move by proper and just methods; he who has no respect to any of them, carries away the reward due to that propriety of behaviour, with no other merit but that of having neglected it.

I take an impudent fellow to be a sort of out-/ Spectator appeared, have I remarked a kind of law in good-breeding, and therefore what is said men, whom I choose to call Starers; that without of him no nation or person can be concerned for any regard to time, place, or modesty, disturb a For this reason one may be free upon him. I have large company with their impertinent eyes. Spec-put myself to great pains in considering this pretators make up a proper assembly for a puppet- vailing quality which we call impudence, and have show or a bear-garden; but devout supplicants and taken notice that it exerts itself in a different attentive hearers, are the audience one ought to manner, according to the different soils wherein expect in churches. I am, sir, member of a small such subjects of these dominions, as are masters of pious congregation near one of the north gates of it, were born. Impudence in an Englishman is this city; much the greater part of us indeed are sullen and insolent; in a Scotchman it is untractafemales, and used to behave ourselves in a regular ble and rapacious; in an Irishman, absurd and attentive manner, till very lately one whole aisle fawning: as the course of the world now runs, the has been disturbed by one of these monstrous impudent Englishman behaves like a surly landstarers: he is the head taller than any one in the lord, the Scot like an ill-received guest, and the church; but for the greater advantage of exposing Irishman like a stranger who knows he is not himself, stands upon a hassock, and commands the welcome. There is seldom any thing entertaining whole congregation, to the great annoyance of either in the impudence of a South or North Brithe devoutest part of the auditory; for what with ton; but that of an Irishman is always comic. A blushing, confusion, and vexation, we can neither true and genuine impudence is ever the effect of

mind the prayers nor sermon. Your animadversion
upon this insolence would be a great favour to,

'SIR,
'Your most humble servant,

's. c.'

ignorance without the least sense of it. The best and most successful starers now in this town are of that nation; they have usually the advantage of the stature mentioned in the above letter of my correspondent, and generally take their stands in

I have frequently seen of this sort of fellows, the eye of women of fortune; insomuch that I and do think there cannot be a greater aggrava- have known one of them, three months after he tion of an offence, than that it is committed where came from plough, with a tolerable good air, lead the criminal is protected by the sacredness of the out a woman from a play, which one of our own place which he violates. Many reflections of this breed, after four years at Oxford and two at the sort might be very justly made upon this sort of Temple, would have been afraid to look at. behaviour, but a starer is not usually a person to I cannot tell how to account for it, but these be convinced by the reason of the thing; and a people have usually the preference to our own fellow that is capable of showing an impudent fools, in the opinion of the sillier part of womanfront before a whole congregation, and can bear kind. Perhaps it is that an English coxcomb is being a public spectacle, is not so easily rebuked seldom so obsequious as an Irish one; and when as to amend by admonitions. If, therefore, my the design of pleasing is visible, an absurdity in correspondent does not inform me, that within the way toward it is easily forgiven. seven days after this date the barbarian does not But those who are downright impudent, and go

at least stand upon his own legs only, without an eminence, my friend Will Prosper* has promised to take an hassock opposite to him, and stare against him in defence of the ladies. I have given him

See No. 19.

on without reflection that they are such, are more to be tolerated, than a set of fellows among us who profess impudence with an air of humour, and think to carry off the most inexcusable of all faults in the world, with no other apology than saying in a gay tone, 'I put an impudent face upon the

Another numberless branch of peaceable lawyers are those young men who, being placed at the inns of court in order to study the laws of their country,

matter.' No; no man shall be allowed the ad vantages of impudence, who is conscious that he is such. If he knows he is impudent, he may as well be otherwise; and it shall be expected that he frequent the playhouse more than Westminsterblush, when he sees he makes another do it. For Hall, and are seen in all public assemblies, except nothing can atone for the want of modesty; within a court of justice. I shall say nothing of those | out which beauty is ungraceful, and wit detestable. silent and busy multitudes that are employed

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HOR. 1 Ep. v. 28.
There's room enough, and each may bring his friend.

CREECH.

within doors in the drawing up of writings and conveyances; nor of those greater numbers that palliate their want of business with a pretence to such chamber practice.

If, in the third place, we look into the profession of physic, we shall find a most formidable body of men. The sight of them is enough to make a man serious; for we may lay it down as a maxim, that when a nation abounds in physicians, a reason why the

I AM Sometimes very much troubled, when I reflect it grows thin of people. Sir William Temple is upon the three great professions of divinity, law, very much puzzled to find out

and physic; how they are each of them overbur. Northern Hive, as he calls it, does not send out dened with with practitioners, and filled with multitudes such prodigious swarms, and overrun the world of ingenious gentlemen that starve one another. with Goths and Vandals, as it did formerly; but We may divide the clergy into generals, field- had that excellent author observed that there were officers, and subalterns. Among the first we may no students in physic among the subjects of Thor reckon bishops, deans, and arch-deacons. Among and Woden, and that this science very much flouthe second are doctors of divinity, prebendaries, rishes in the north at present, he might have found and all that wear scarfs. The rest are compre- a better solution for this difficulty than any of those f of hended under the subalterns. As for the first class, he has made use of. This body of men in our own our constitution preserves it from any redundancy country may be described like the British army in of incumbents, notwithstanding competitors are Cæsar's time. Some of them slay in chariots, and mumberless. Upon a strict calculation, it is found some on foot. If the infantry do less execution that there has been a great exceeding of late years than the charioteers, it is because they cannot be in the second division, several brevets having been carried so soon into all quarters of the town, and granted for the converting of subalterns into scarf. dispatch so much business in so short a time. Beofficers; insomuch, that within my memory the sides this body of regular troops, there are stragprice of lustring is raised above two-pence in a glers, who, without being duly listed and enrolled, yard. As for the subalterns, they are not to be do infinite mischief to those who are so unlucky numbered. Should our clergy once enter into the as to fall into their hands.

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corrupt practice of the laity, by the splitting of There are, besides the above-mentioned, innutheir freeholds, they would be able to carry most merable retainers to physic, who, for want of other

of the elections in England.

patients, amuse themselves with the stifling of cats

The body of the law is no less encumbered with in an air-pump, cutting up dogs alive, or impaling the superfluous members, that are like Virgil's army, of insects upon the point of a needle for microswhich he tells us was so crowded, many of them copical observation; besides those that are emhad not room to use their weapons. This prodigious ployed in the gathering of weeds, and the chase of society of men may be divided into the litigious butterflies: not to mention the cockleshell-merand peaceable. Under the first are comprehended chants and spider-catchers.

not

A

Ball those who are carried down in coach-fulls to When I consider how each of these professions
Westminster-Hall, every morning in term time, are crowded with multitudes that seek their liveli-

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hood in them, and how many men of merit there
are in each of them, who may be rather said to be
of the science than the profession; I very much
wonder at the humour of parents, who will not

my are more or less passionate according as they are rather choose to place their sons in a way of life
paid for it, and allow their client a quantity of where an honest industry cannot but thrive, than
it wrath proportionable to the fee which they receive in stations where the greatest probity, learning,
he from him. I must, however, observe to the reader and good sense may miscarry. How many men
end that above three parts of those whom I reckon are country curates, that might have made them-
among the litigious are such as are only quarrel. selves aldermen of London by a right improvement
theme in their hearts, and have no opportunity of of a smaller sum of money than what is usuall
showing their passion at the bar. Nevertheless, laid out upon a learned education? A sober frug
ese as they do not know what strifes may arise, they person, of slender parts and a slow apprehensi
w3 appear at the hall every day, that they may show might have thrived, in trade, though he star
anthemselves in a readiness to enter the lists, when- upon physic: as a man would be well eno
15 ever there shall be occasion for them.
pleased to buy silks of one, whom he would

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in many of the benchers of the several inns of court, studious, and obliging, but withal a little
The peaceable lawyers are, in the first place, venture to feel his pulse. Vagellius is ca
who seem to be the dignitaries of the law, and are skulled; he has not a single client, but migh"
godowed with those qualifications of mind that ac. had abundance of customers. The misfor
recomplish a man rather for a ruler than a pleader, that parents take a liking to a particular
These men live peaceably in their habitations, eat- sion, and therefore desire their sons may
nding once a day, and dancing once a year, for the whereas, in so great an affair of life, there

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